Celine Dion, Pictures in Port-a-Potties and ME!

It seems I've taken a bit of a hiatus recently... I promise not to do that very often. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. Please come back! Jack! Come back! Jaaaaaack! (insert Celine Dion music here)

Just to keep you up to date, some things I've done (and haven't done) while I haven't been blogging (and because I feel the need to use bullet points whenever possible): I...

• Marched in the 4th of July Parade, carried the Arizona flag, and did NOT have anything thrown at me over the AZ immigration law
• Went to Tahoe and rode 20+ miles on a bike over two days (this is good for me)
• Due to the above mileage, I bruised my taint on the damn bike seat
• Was convinced to join Weight Watchers (possibly because 20+ miles on a bike was considered to be pretty awesome)
• Have NOT attended a Weight Watchers meeting yet
• But HAVE looked at buying a food scale
• Have NOT bought the food scale
• Am rethinking why I just brewed beer if I'm going to join Weight Watchers and will not be allowed to drink any of it. Assholes.
• Finally got motivated to fix the array of random crap that is wrong with my car (and have agreed to hand over my first-born as payment)
• Wore a very short, low-cut dress to the dealer to try and get a deal on the work being done (did not work) (maybe it will work better after Weight Watchers actually starts) (also, if it's called a "dealer" why don't they actually cut DEALS? They should be called "Screwers" or "We Don't Actually Care About Keeping You Happy/Fed/Clothed/Sheltered")
• Ordered an iPhone 4
• Found out they are SUPER back-ordered and don't actually work that well. Damn.

 So... the sun finally came out. It's almost the middle of July and June Gloom has finally left us. Took long enough. It's supposed to be 100 degrees for the rest of the week. And that's the forecast for the area NEAR THE OCEAN. I plan to drink a lot. And also have some water. However, the unexpected visit of Mr. Sunshine has me in a particularly wonderful mood. It's like I've found my rainbow. The Lovers, The Dreamers, and Me. There's no leprechaun though. Double Damn.

As promised, here is the pic of me in the porta-a-potty at Country Jam... please keep in mind that at this time, I had already been drinking for 4 straight days, have been shitting in these very same port-a-potties for the same amount of time, and have also been camping, in a tent, with two other girls.

June Gloom, Oil Spills, Sinkholes and Skinny Kids

I live in Santa Barbara, which can easily be considered one of the most beautiful places on the mainland. In July it's 72 degrees, in September it's 72 degrees, in December it's 72 degrees, in February it's 72 degrees, in April, well, you get the idea. It's 72 degrees year round, EXCEPT IN JUNE. In June, we get this weather phenomenon affectionately called "June Gloom." When I first moved here almost 11 years ago(!), I called bullshit left and right when it came to June Gloom. I mean, I was from Colorado, where it's either beautiful outside, or it's a living hell outside. But I was tough. I could handle anything. Whiteouts? DUN. Thunderstorms? Bring 'em on! Hail? Shmail. I scoffed at the idea of being cold in 50 degree weather... then, I moved here. Shit.

We had THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WEEKEND last weekend (seriously, no lies, 80 degrees, not-a-cloud-in-the-sky-it-should-be-illegal-to-stay-inside type of weekend that was filled with BBQs, disc golf, sailing and convertibles). The sun set on May 31st and I swear I haven't seen it since. Yes, I know, it's only two days later, but still. It's cloudy, chilly... gloomy, even. And it's NOT 72 degrees. In fact, it's 58 degrees. Y'all are luckily I dragged my hungover ass out of bed this morning and made it into work at all.

I supposed I shouldn't bitch too much, seeing as there's currently an ocean being taken over by the oil-gods, Guatemala just got swallowed by a giant-ass sinkhole, and you know, there are starving kids all over other countries, blah blah blah. But dude... I'M COLD!


(Giant-ass sinkhole... no lies)