I'm a Member of the Mile High Club

Wikipedia says (so it much be true) that "The Mile High Club (or MHC) (<-- Seriously? MHC? It needs an acronym?) is a slang term applied collectively to individuals who have sex while on board an aircraft in flight."

Question: When was the last time you were in an airplane, and you were cruising at 5,280 feet? Probably NEVER. Because if you were, you'd CRASH right into the ROCKY MOUNTAINS. And it would be about half-way up the mountain, not just grazing the peak and rolling down the other side. No... you'd go SPLAT! Right into the side.

If being a member of the "MHC" (<-- so lame) means you've boned at a mile high, well, then, I'm a member, and have been for longer than I'd like to admit. Growing up at 6,700 feet will do a lot of things for you:

• Give you amazing stamina for sports/running/marathon-between-the-sheet nights due to the lack of oxygen your brain gets from being up so high
• The sun in a friendly reminder that it's hot. put some damn sunscreen on because you're 6,700 feet closer to the sun than you would be if you were at the beach and damn that shit is hot and intense.
• There's nothing to do above 5,280 feet because there are no decent sized cities, so you learn how to drink, and drink a lot.
• On the bright side, you can really booze it up if you even get down to sea-level.

I had a point to this post... oh! right. The MHC is lame and untrue and you don't have to bone in the micro-shitter on a plane to be a "member." How does that conversation go, anyway? "Hey... wanna put your ass on the counter inside that bathroom by aisle 24?" "Only if you're foot goes in the toilet" "But then it'll turn blue!" "Whatever, douche, my ass will forever be infected. "Oh hang on, I think that fat guy is taking a crap in there. He's been in there for a long-ass time" "Speaking of asses... get on the counter, biotch!" Ew. diseases. Gross.

And also, every single person I grew up with is also a member due to the need to entertain ourselves because the town was so small, and because we lived at such a high altitude. And when you have nothing to do at 16... you drink. Then eventually, you bone. It's the natural progression of things.

Mile High Club my disease-infested-ass.

Lunching with the Ex. Also, things I do to drive myself crazy.

I just had lunch with my ex... the one with the awkward grocery store run-in...

Things I said would or wouldn't happen that did or didn't:

• What I said I wouldn't do: Have lunch with him. 
• What happened: We had lunch. I swore that wasn't going to happen. But he called at my office from his office phone. Sneaky, very sneaky. Why I said is still something I'm trying to blame on someone, but haven't figured out who yet. I'll get back to you on that.
• What I said I WOULD do: Tell him that he's a selfish asshole (but in nicer words). 
• What I didn't do: I didn't tell him how I think he's a selfish asshole for doing what he does to girls (not in the dirty-sex way... THAT is just fine).
• What I said I WOULD tell him: That I'm on to his evil ways and will spread to word to all other females I come across
• What I DIDN'T do: I didn't tell him that I know the REAL reason he broke my heart and that I plan to ruin his life with it.
• What I said I WOULDN'T do: Make this a regular thing.
• What I did/didn't do: I didn't say "no" to the invitation to go to a movie next week. BUT... I didn't say 'yes' either.

All in all, it was actually a nice time. There's a reason we had such a good time together. Because we're both a good time. If (and I emphasis the IF IF IF IF IF) he wants to be JUST FRIENDS, then I might consider it. However, if he wants to get the stick-it-in-okay, then I'm out.

So... THAT just happened.

Chicks vs Dicks, Sporting Events and Sex

I'm one of those Chicks who really enjoys sports. I like watching sports, I like playing sports, and I like drinking beer while I do both of those things. I also know the rules of most sports (especially football)... not because I want to impress all the Dicks* in my life, but because I ENJOY sports (shocking!).

However, when I really get into a game, it's passionate, it's emotional (for me), it's draining. Chicks get emotional about things they care about. Dicks, on the other hand, get worked up, but I don't think sporting events are emotionally draining, like they are to Chicks.

Case in point... the NBA Finals last night. Lakers vs Celtics, game 7. Disclaimer: I am a Celtics fan living in California. I was on the edge of my seat, I was biting my nails, I was screaming at the TV, throwing things at Kobe, and calling people names my mother would be ashamed of. At the end of the game, when the refs decided the Lakers should win, I had to step outside. Not because I needed air, but because my boyfriend NEEDED to watch the replay, NEEDED to see the highlights, and NEEDED to watch the trophy ceremony. Dicks like technique, Chicks like emotions. It's amazing how sports and sex are so alike.

Therefore, if you'd ever like to get in my pants, it's important that you know my passionate likes and dislikes...

My very passionate LIKES:

• Denver Broncos (I basically bleed orange and blue)
• John Elway, Shannon Sharpe, Terrell Davis, Eddie McCaffrey
• Boston Celtics
• Boston Red Socks
• Colorado Avalanche

My very passionate DISLIKES:

• Oakland Raiders
• All Raider Fans
• Brett Favre
• NY Yankees
• NY Yankee Fans
• Kobe Bryant
• LA Lakers
• Lakers Fans (this one is particularly difficult since I live in Southern California and the majority of people here would pay loads of money to suck off Kobe Bryant)
• Detroit Red Wings

Yes, my dislikes outweigh my likes, but once you're on my "Likes" list, I'm loyal through and through. Kind of like most men in my life.

Who's on your like/dislike list? 

*In this post, and this post only, I refer to "Dicks" as those of us who have male parts, NOT as those of use who have male parts and are also assholes.